It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
