Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
