He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
