3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
