Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
