Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
