I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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