So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
