you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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