i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
