That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
