I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize