About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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