Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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