What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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