i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
