is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
