Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
