i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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