at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
