with your own penis?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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