do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Randomize
