some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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