No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
