Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
