i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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