I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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