hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
