I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
NoShamevember. You game?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
