She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
