my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
