i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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