You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
