somebody snuck up and got me drunk
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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