i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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