Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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