Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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