dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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