I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize