im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
