am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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