Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
