:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My pussy is not your playground.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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