You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
he had hair everywhere except his balls
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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