I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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