You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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