I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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