Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize