dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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