Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
