and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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