alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize