This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It was confusing and full of hummus
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
