Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
