I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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