Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
