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• (226): View more from Ontario

  forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.

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• (408): View more from California

  How was your sisters wedding?

  (1-408): View more from California

  Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.

  (408): View more from California

  sisterhood ftl.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina

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• (979): View more from Texas

  Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.

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• (530): View more from California

  When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.

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• (607): View more from New York

  Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles

  Fav 0 66 10

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