Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
