There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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