I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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