I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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