someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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