No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
