he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
