Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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