i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
