why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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