Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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