No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize