If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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