after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
